God Please hear me. / Mom To Melissa
It is 1 A.M. and everyone is asleep except me. I miss Melissa so much and I can't stop crying. I want to lay down and die and not hurt anymore.
The police still don't have anyone arrested, but now they have some new evidence, if it is true, she was murdered by someone we know.
I never knew I could hurt this much and still breath and get up every morning and go to work. I think I am going crazy - but I still function and everyone thinks I am o.k.
I am not O.K., I am being torn apart inside and I can't get to a better place. I want to see Melissa laugh again and hear her crazy talking and just tell her how much I love her and how proud I am of her. I know she knew, but I want to tell her again.
I keep remembering all the silly fights we had and I wish I could take them back, but I can't and I want her to know that no matter what I loved her.
I am not sure that even an arrest will help me, because, she will still be gone. The only thing I have left is a grave and memories, it is so hard to face each day and know that the door bell rings and it can not possibly be my baby girl coming by to see her mom.
I don't know who to turn to, but I know I need help or I am not going to make it through this.
Thank you for your prayers and e mails and your kind words. I know there are a lot of people praying for my family, but God needs to carry me so I don't fall.
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